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lets play a game, its called lame excuse

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kieno

kieno
Well, she was originally going to jump over a spoon, but then she ran away with the fork.

Why do our fun bits sag as we get older?

RennisTora

RennisTora
The awesome runs out around middle age.

Why aren't they going to the moon anymore?

kieno

kieno
because they couldn't find any more cows to jump over it.

Why does The Enterprise not have a backup warp core?

Contrast

Contrast
Because that would detract from the sense of urgency felt by the viewers during life threatening situations, of course.

Why did you email that NSFW picture to your grandma!?

RennisTora

RennisTora
She's the only one I know with the same taste in porn.

How many cups of sugar would it take to reach Mars?

Riikano-Alinaris


Ask the cow.

What's the best use for a chainsaw?

kieno

kieno
To eat your homework.

Why is the report late?

Riikano-Alinaris


Report? What report? I don't know about any reports!

Why are you eating sh*t?

kieno

kieno
Because the chainsaw is full.

Why is my chainsaw anorexic?

Riikano-Alinaris


Because she's not eating your homework.

Why are you green?

kieno

kieno
I'm actually blue, but I died.

Why does my scotch taste funny?

Auroralikethesunrise

Auroralikethesunrise
because its actually chlorophorm!

why is the dog sick, sticky, and missing patches of hair?

https://www.facebook.com/Briar0Rose

waffllecat

waffllecat
I decided to save him for later.

Why are there zombies on your lawn?

indrejue

indrejue
because this thread is no longer lame excuses just stupid questions

why did i make a fool of my self celebrating the green bay loss to san fran? (bears fan here)

Telwa1a


Because I did not hypnotise you, and you're not a closet sadist anymore *snap*

Okey, who glued my eyelids shut?

Riikano-Alinaris


Muhaha! And thus my grand evil plan begins!

Who stole my death ray? I can't conquer the world with it!

desii3d

desii3d
Riikano-Alinaris wrote:Muhaha! And thus my grand evil plan begins!

Who stole my death ray? I can't conquer the world with it!

DEATH ray.... oh.. I though you said DEBT ray, I wanted to get rid of mine.

Why is it a pair of panties but only one bra?

Riikano-Alinaris


'cause you're an amazon with three legs Very Happy

By the way, don't touch the laser anymoZOT!


Ehm...

Can someone please recollect my ashes and try to repatch me together?

waffllecat

waffllecat
Let the janitor fix it.

How on earth did you get that laser past the security?

Riikano-Alinaris


I told them I was a Maya and had to end the world.
They let me pass.

Why is my keyboard flying around the house?

DarkAngel

DarkAngel
Because it's faster than driving.

Why are Creepers such @$$holes?

waffllecat

waffllecat
Because Notch screwed up the programming on a pig.

What is the meaning of life?

DarkAngel

DarkAngel
Bacon.

Who cancelled the Apocalypse (and I spent all that money on those spiked shoulderpads too)?

indrejue

indrejue
god did to laugh at all the miserable pathetic people who did not learn the first time that "no man shall know the hour or day of it's coming not even the son but only the father"

why has society become so overtly sexually perverted. (especially japan)

waffllecat

waffllecat
Because everybody loves boobs.

Why is the cake a lie?

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