Here I go. I was saving a cat that was stuck in a tree when a meteorite landed on James Bond's car that caused a nuclear reaction that blew me and the cat into the middle of an ocean. We were rescued by a group of fishermen, and then got caught in a whirlpool that made us sink all the way to Adlantis. The ship was then attacked by the Kraken. He threw us all the way to your island were everybody (including the cat) then vomited a weeks worth of food all over the place, hence the smell of freshly puked beer and long dead salty fish.
Why are you standing on a landmine?