lets play a game, its called lame excuse

Well, she was originally going to jump over a spoon, but then she ran away with the fork.

Why do our fun bits sag as we get older?

The awesome runs out around middle age.

Why aren't they going to the moon anymore?

because they couldn't find any more cows to jump over it.

Why does The Enterprise not have a backup warp core?

Because that would detract from the sense of urgency felt by the viewers during life threatening situations, of course.

Why did you email that NSFW picture to your grandma!?

She's the only one I know with the same taste in porn.

How many cups of sugar would it take to reach Mars?

Ask the cow.

What's the best use for a chainsaw?

To eat your homework.

Why is the report late?

Report? What report? I don't know about any reports!

Why are you eating sh*t?

Because the chainsaw is full.

Why is my chainsaw anorexic?

Because she's not eating your homework.

Why are you green?

I'm actually blue, but I died.

Why does my scotch taste funny?

because its actually chlorophorm!

why is the dog sick, sticky, and missing patches of hair?

I decided to save him for later.

Why are there zombies on your lawn?

because this thread is no longer lame excuses just stupid questions

why did i make a fool of my self celebrating the green bay loss to san fran? (bears fan here)

Because I did not hypnotise you, and you're not a closet sadist anymore *snap*

Okey, who glued my eyelids shut?

Muhaha! And thus my grand evil plan begins!

Who stole my death ray? I can't conquer the world with it!

Riikano-Alinaris wrote:Muhaha! And thus my grand evil plan begins!

Who stole my death ray? I can't conquer the world with it!

DEATH ray.... oh.. I though you said DEBT ray, I wanted to get rid of mine.

Why is it a pair of panties but only one bra?

'cause you're an amazon with three legs

By the way, don't touch the laser anymoZOT!


Ehm...

Can someone please recollect my ashes and try to repatch me together?

Let the janitor fix it.

How on earth did you get that laser past the security?

I told them I was a Maya and had to end the world.
They let me pass.

Why is my keyboard flying around the house?

Because it's faster than driving.

Why are Creepers such @$$holes?

Because Notch screwed up the programming on a pig.

What is the meaning of life?

Bacon.

Who cancelled the Apocalypse (and I spent all that money on those spiked shoulderpads too)?

god did to laugh at all the miserable pathetic people who did not learn the first time that "no man shall know the hour or day of it's coming not even the son but only the father"

why has society become so overtly sexually perverted. (especially japan)

Because everybody loves boobs.

Why is the cake a lie?