CRIMINAL MASTERMIND ASSASSINATED BY LOCAL MOB
BRISBANE (AP) - Local police suspect that Bill "Feathers" McGee of Ross Ice Shelf was murdered on orders by local mob chef "Pockets" McLaren. The elder penguin was found in a garbage bin by the Opera House with what appeared to be a billiard ball stuffed down his mouth, causing him to suffocate. This is one of the signatory methods that the kangaroo mafia is known for. It was rumored that there was a dispute between the avian clans and the marsupial mob over turf, but nothing firm has yet to surface. No suspects have been arrested, but the investigation is ongoing. Some say that the penguin all of a sudden "snapped" the day before and went to confront the mob.
McGee was known to have family, but their whereabouts are unknown.