es. Mancakes.
A form of pancake so potent that only a true man can consume it. Women even attempting such a magnificent meal will crap out their ovaries and grow a penis.
DISCLAIMER:
This recipe requires the use of pentagrammatic wards, meat and poultry ovulations. All injuries sustained due to meddling with the fabric of reality are the responsibility of the person attempting it. Symptoms of overexposure to this recipe include (but are not limited to): Flash burns, being et by demons, spontaneous lactose intolerance, increased beard growth, decapitation, menstruation, temporal imbalance and herpes.
Step 1: Preparation
First, you need an empty worksurface.
It needs to be made ready before cooking can begin. First, scrub it with disinfectant, then add a Pentagram with surrounding circle and some runes.
Make sure your worktop is big enugh, as a break in the circle can lead to problems, as will be seen later.
To the ingredients!
You'll need 100g flour, 1 sachet baking powder, 1 egg, about 300ml milk, raw steak, oil and toppings. Chuck the flour (do not sieve, as it removes the Vital Humours required), baking powder and egg in a bowl. Add the milk in small increments, mixing as you go to get a smooth batter.
Now, start to heat your frying pan. Again, this area needs prepared. Lighting some candles works well to placate the mixture. However, the candles I used weren't of the dribbly variety, which started a chain reaction.
The mixture was slightly angered by this. Normally, calming it by feeding some raw steak would work. However it's rage was unchecked by the pentagrammic wards, as the circle wasn't quite complete and falls off the side of the worktop.
Before I knew it, disaster:
It looked like this was the end of the mancakes. A quick solution was needed. The steak went in...
The steak worked. It calmed the mixture down. Now I had to work quickly.
A big dollop of the mix went into the pan. Out of the mix you should get 3 Mancakes, however the burn wasted a third of the mixture. The Mancake in the pan needs to be cooked until it starts to firm up on top and bubble. Keep swilling the fluid mix on top around the edges to heat it.
It is normal for the mix to rise as it cooks.
OH SHI-
Now, use a splatula to unstick the Mancake from the sides of the pan and flip that fecker.
Repeat with the other two parts of the Mancake batter.
Slather chocolate spread on it and roll.
OM NOM NOM
For the less manly version, or for thinner, less fluffy pancakes, leave out the baking powder. Also, using plain flour rather than self-raising leaves wafer thin and totally crepe.
You can add any fillings you want. I went with chocolate spread for one and lemon juice/sugar for the second, though you can use whatever, including a dollop of icecream.
End.
A form of pancake so potent that only a true man can consume it. Women even attempting such a magnificent meal will crap out their ovaries and grow a penis.
DISCLAIMER:
This recipe requires the use of pentagrammatic wards, meat and poultry ovulations. All injuries sustained due to meddling with the fabric of reality are the responsibility of the person attempting it. Symptoms of overexposure to this recipe include (but are not limited to): Flash burns, being et by demons, spontaneous lactose intolerance, increased beard growth, decapitation, menstruation, temporal imbalance and herpes.
Step 1: Preparation
First, you need an empty worksurface.
It needs to be made ready before cooking can begin. First, scrub it with disinfectant, then add a Pentagram with surrounding circle and some runes.
Make sure your worktop is big enugh, as a break in the circle can lead to problems, as will be seen later.
To the ingredients!
You'll need 100g flour, 1 sachet baking powder, 1 egg, about 300ml milk, raw steak, oil and toppings. Chuck the flour (do not sieve, as it removes the Vital Humours required), baking powder and egg in a bowl. Add the milk in small increments, mixing as you go to get a smooth batter.
Now, start to heat your frying pan. Again, this area needs prepared. Lighting some candles works well to placate the mixture. However, the candles I used weren't of the dribbly variety, which started a chain reaction.
The mixture was slightly angered by this. Normally, calming it by feeding some raw steak would work. However it's rage was unchecked by the pentagrammic wards, as the circle wasn't quite complete and falls off the side of the worktop.
Before I knew it, disaster:
It looked like this was the end of the mancakes. A quick solution was needed. The steak went in...
The steak worked. It calmed the mixture down. Now I had to work quickly.
A big dollop of the mix went into the pan. Out of the mix you should get 3 Mancakes, however the burn wasted a third of the mixture. The Mancake in the pan needs to be cooked until it starts to firm up on top and bubble. Keep swilling the fluid mix on top around the edges to heat it.
It is normal for the mix to rise as it cooks.
OH SHI-
Now, use a splatula to unstick the Mancake from the sides of the pan and flip that fecker.
Repeat with the other two parts of the Mancake batter.
Slather chocolate spread on it and roll.
OM NOM NOM
For the less manly version, or for thinner, less fluffy pancakes, leave out the baking powder. Also, using plain flour rather than self-raising leaves wafer thin and totally crepe.
You can add any fillings you want. I went with chocolate spread for one and lemon juice/sugar for the second, though you can use whatever, including a dollop of icecream.
End.
